Hello. Well, I had an abortion on May 8th 2019. When I found out I was pregnant, I was confused on how I could have possibly let this happen because I thought I had my fertility window/ovulation date down, but I also wasn’t sure who the father was. The same day I found out I was pregnant, I told who I thought was the father and my best friend. Then weeks go by and I finally tell my other close friend, parents and some family.. I still wasn’t sure who the father was at this time, even with all the calculations and Googling questions all day and night. I was so stressed about not knowing, that I finally decided to pay $1200 for a prenatal paternity test, and I also told the alleged father. Weeks go by and I finally get the results that it wasn’t the guy that I wanted it to be. I was devastated and embarrassed because I wanted so badly for it to be his for more reasons the one, I was so excited to be a mom, and I had already told so many people that I was pregnant and who the father was (that was a mistake).. but that same day, I did not hesitate and scheduled an abortion. The very next day, a friend goes with me to the clinic and we’re there for literally 4 hours. The procedure went well, but my experience seemed a little different than others because I was just sweating profusely and cramping so badly compared to the other women. I left the clinic that day with no tears shed and content with what just happened, but the next day and some days there after I did grieve. I had no regrets, but at the end of the day, and although it was my choice, I felt like I had lost someone and I was sad about it. The prenatal paternity test also told me the gender, and it was a girl; so I always wonder what could have been.. my parents and family still don’t know. I have so much anxiety just thinking about telling them. I still don’t want to tell them that I had an abortion, but instead I just “lost it” because that technically wouldn’t be lying.. Thanks for reading.